Lesson 3 of 10 · 3 min · Mind

Cognitive defusion: a thought is not a fact

The voice says things in your own words. Two small tricks show them for what they are.

1. The voice in your head speaks in sentences: I always mess this up. Nobody likes me. Because it uses your own voice, it feels like the truth.

2. Try putting a few words in front of it: I am having the thought that I always mess this up. The sentence is the same, but now you are looking at it instead of through it.

3. More than a century ago, psychologist Edward Titchener wrote that a word repeated over and over soon becomes meaningless. Therapists today use milk: say it out loud, fast, again and again, and it turns into a sound.

4. In 2004, Akihiko Masuda and colleagues tried it on harsh words students used about themselves. Saying the word out loud, fast, for 30 seconds made it less upsetting and less believable than distracting themselves or trying to control the thought. The study was small: eight students.

5. Try it. Say milk out loud with each word on the screen, quickly, for 30 seconds. Then type the word your inner voice uses on you and do the same. Nothing you type leaves this card.

6. None of this argues with the thought or proves it wrong. It lets you see it as words passing through, like leaves on a stream, and you get to choose which ones to pick up.